Heroes and Villains: Saving Your Marriage
My parents live over 6 hours from us, but my children have
been fortunate to be able to spend a week, each by
themselves, being spoiled by their grandparents. We always
plan the weeks back-to-back, and meet after the first week at a
half-way point to exchange children.
A few years back, at the end of the two weeks, our son needed
to be retrieved. So, my parents were going to meet us at the
half-way point. I thought to myself, “there really is no reason
to drag us all there, just to grab my son and turn around to
The week before, I had had to spend most of the week at a
work conference away from home. But while I was away, I
explained this to my wife, thinking “wow, what a relief it will be
for her and my daughter to not have to spend 7 hours in the
I flew in Friday evening, confirmed the plans for Saturday, and
went to bed. I was pretty proud of myself! (That should have
been my first clue!)
Saturday morning, bright and early, I struck out. Nobody was
even up yet.
So there I was, driving across the state, and starting through
the mountains. The story I was telling myself? What a hero I
was! Everyone at home would enjoy a relaxing day, we would
be back by mid-afternoon, and hey, I was sacrificing, “taking
one for the team!”
Imagine my surprise when I called home, and my daughter
answered. I quickly realized all was NOT OK on the homefront!
She asked where I was. I told her I was in the mountains,
about 45 minutes from picking up her brother. She was quiet
and said “mom’s mad.” Then I lost reception.
When I finally got to better reception, I realized that in my zeal
to be the hero, I didn’t really listen to my wife. She hadn’t so
much agreed as had little chance to disagree. She was
wanting to go, wanting to ride with me, wanting to spend
those hours in the car. I had been gone for several days, and
now was gone again. I would have the joy of hearing about
my son’s week. I would see my parents, not her.
Wow! The story in my head was NOT the story that was
happening. In my story, I was the hero. In my wife’s story, I
was the villain!
Who was right?
Turns out, the same thing happens to all of us! Invariably, we
tell a story more kind to ourselves. But if everyone is doing
that, then someone else is going to have to play the villain.
Unfortunately, in marriages, that is often a spouse.
My point? Simply this: when there is conflict, we usually tell a
story that puts us in the best light, and by doing so, tell
ourselves a story that puts our spouse in a poorer light. In
reality, neither is true. We are never as altruistic, benevolent,
and helpful as we spin ourselves. And nor is our spouse as
mean, malevolent, and destructive as we spin them.
Since we humans are all fiction writers at heart, making up the
scenes as we go along, it is important that we be more careful
with how we play the “protagonist/antagonist” plotline in our
minds. In fact, I always suggest we:
1) See others as innocent. Everyone really tries to do the best
they can, albeit imperfectly.
2) See ourselves as realistically as possible. In the end, we all
want what we want, and sometimes act in ways that are less
kind than we would like to think.
3) Realize that the plots, stories, and scripts we write in our
heads do as much to limit us as they do to comfort us. They
comfort us by allowing us to believe what we want to believe,
but also limit the possibilities that we need to be a bit
uncomfortable. That is what makes us grow!
Are you ready to change the story of your marriage? You CAN Save your marriage! Go now to http://www.SaveTheMarriage.com
There are many girls who are crazy about designer clothes; they go
from shop to shop searching for the perfect outfit. However, sometimes
due to the plenty of options they get confused and end up not buying
anything and wasting their time and energy going from shop to shop.
Whether you are looking for jeans, dresses, t shirts, tops, jumpsuits,
shorts, skirts or leggings, the best place to quench your thirst for new
clothes is the internet. E-stores are a great place to buy clothes. Say
goodbye to the discomfort of stepping out of your house in the
scorching sun, e-stores are here to stay.
Thanks to the internet, you can easily sit at home with a computer
and browse through plenty of stores all around the world. A click here
and there could get a beautiful designer outfit from Paris. This dress
shop online provides you a plethora of options to buy from. You can sit
comfortably at home and can strike the best deals within clicks. The
increasing competitions between e-stores leave the customer in a winning
spot. You can get the best deals with the least possible efforts. In
todays busy world, people do not have the time to visit many shops to
look for various options. For such busy people, internet portals are an
No more hustle for car parking, long queues at the cashier counter or
for the escalator. All these hurdles for a comfortable purchasing
experience are removed by these internet portals. Thanks to dress shop
online, you can shop quickly and easily.Conventional stores do not have
huge collection of outfits because they have limited space to stock
their collection. There is a chance that you might not find the item
that you are looking for at a conventional store. On the other hand,
e-stores have large warehouses; therefore they are able to stock almost
any type of clothing.
Nowadays, girls are quite style conscious and prefer designer attire.
Many times, conventional storesare not able to offer latest and trendy
collection of attire because they purchase stock from the wholesalers.
On the other hand, dress shop online
purchase stock directly from manufactures. Therefore they are able to
offer latest fashion outfits. With the plenty of benefits of online
dress shopping it might be the time to go online and check out the
collection offered by online stores.
Women are fan of buying clothes. They love being fashionable at most
time, and so love to buy trendy clothes and dresses seasonally. Women of
the modern era are becoming busier today thus; one finds it hard to
devote time for purchasing the best outfits. The internet gives a
solution to this; women can buy fashionable clothes through online dress
shopping.Thanks to the various options on the World Wide Webyou dont
need to go around hopping from boutique to boutique. You can enjoy the
comfort of your house and get the best attires.
Women hate the stress of walking around the mall and waiting in line just to buy the clothes she wants- forget about this! Online dress shopping
provides you a wide range of attires. Compared to you neighbouring
mall, buying outfits over the internet can let you see a wonderful
collection of branded attires.
Coffee Hour Featuring Stephanie Shirley ’09Founder and Owner of Bennis Public Relations, Inc.
Stephanie Shirley ’09 will share the highs and lows of her entrepreneurial journey, and how her Penn State experience continues to provide the knowledge and relationships that have led to her success, when she joins Alumni Association CEO Paul Clifford ’20g for Coffee Hour. Stephanie is the Founder and Owner of Bennis Public Relations, Inc. Grab your favorite morning beverage and tune in for the virtual conversation on April 28.
At the age of 23, Stephanie Shirley left her newly appointed job within Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett’s administration to take an entrepreneurial leap of faith and start her own PR consulting business, Bennis Public Relations.
Now almost a decade later, Stephanie has built a robust portfolio of clients across the nation including worldwide non-profit organizations, government agencies, state associations, and businesses covering just about every industry.
Stephanie has also forged “power-partnerships” with other marketing, advertising, and government affairs firms to expand her services and skills.