Divorced Parenting – Considering The Needs Of The Children
Divorce is a traumatic time for children who often find themselves on a rollercoaster ride both during and after a divorce. This is a time therefore when both parents, whatever their own problems with each other, need to focus very carefully on the needs of their children.
The starting point of course is to understand the needs of the children at this difficult time and here will look at just some of the more important needs which you should focus upon.
The need for acceptance
Divorce not only sees the separation of mom and dad, but also sees the breakup of the family unit to which the children belong. This in itself can be very difficult for the children, but is often accompanied by a feeling on the part of the children that they are actually responsible for the breakup.
At this point therefore it is extremely important to assure the children that this is anything but their fault. It is also vital to assure them that, whatever the final outcome, they still form a vital and central role in the lives of both parents and that their welfare is very much at the top of the priority list in whatever arrangements are being made.
The need for safety
The breakup of the family unit also brings with it the potential loss of a feeling of safety and security for the children.
To counter this it is important to try to keep life as normal as the circumstances allow by maintaining the childrens’ routine, as well as their boundaries.
The need for structure
The breakup of the family structure and the loss of one parent from the equation of day-to-day living will often result in children probing the new structure and, in particular, testing its boundaries.
Along with maintaining a routine for the children it is also important to both reward good behavior but also to appropriately punish bad behavior. Many parents feel that they should ‘give the children some slack’ because of the difficult and changed situation in which the children find themselves. Children however need to have a structure to their lives and, wherever possible, to see that many things have not changed at all.
The need for strong parents
Divorce can easily have your emotions at sixes and sevens and it’s not always easy to cope with the trials and tribulations of daily life. Your children however will look to you as providing stability and strength, particularly in times of crisis, and it is vital that this is just how you appear to your children.
Your children will naturally worry about you so, whatever your own feelings, try to keep these away from the children and provide them with an environment in which they can relax.
The need to be kids
It’s common for divorced parents to turn to their children in the absence of a former marital partner and it is very easy to draw your children into dealing with essentially adult issues.
The time for them to deal with adulthood will come all too soon but, for now, they need to be allowed to be kids. So, deal with your problems yourself and limit the amount of information your children have about what’s going on between yourself and your former partner.
They say that computers are one of the best ways to teach young children. Aside from the fact that it is commonly used nowadays, its also accessible since a lot of web designers create programs that are appropriate for their age group. The good thing about this is you can combine learning and entertainment in one. There are a lot of ways on how to make a website for kids. If youre interested to learn on how to do it, here are some things that can help you out:The first thing that you need to do is plan the website that you want to set-up. Figure out who your recipients are. Are you going to build a site for your own kids? Or will you allow other people to gain access to it? Some teachers learn how to make a website because it allows them to reach out to their students. Learning is easy if its fun and entertaining.Once things are settled, the next thing that you have to figure out is the design of your website. Kids love pictures and colors, make sure that you incorporate these things carefully so that it will be more interesting for them. You also have to layout everything that you want to include in your site. If its personal, you can add some pictures of your family. Try to be creative in deciding for this so that it will be functional once they start to use it. If you are going to allow access to children other than your own, make sure that you ask the consent of their parents. Some of them dont allow their children to use the computer; try to talk to them so that they can supervise their children while they browse your website.Since the internet is not that safe anymore, its always good to take extra precautions especially if kids are involved. As much as possible dont include any personal information about your kids or the rest of the children who will gain access to it. If you want, you can set up a password that their parents can use, once they are online. If you want this website to be private, dont give the URL of your website to anyone. To make sure that you are not violating any laws on how to make a website. Try to look into your local codes and adhere to all the things that are required from you.Pick website software that you prefer to use. Most of them are free while some require a certain fee. They already have customized layout for you, that way, you dont have to do everything on your own. Its really a great thing that you can easily learn how to create your own website. This is an advantage if you have kids and you want them to learn through interactive learning. Since they are going to use the internet, make sure that you are always there to guide them, that way you can block things that are not appropriate for their age.
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